Winding Down

"Although we've come to the end of the road

Still I can't let go

It's so natural

You belong to me, I belong to you."

-Boyz II Men

It is autumn here in lovely New York City. And the despite the valiant efforts of global warming, it will soon turn colder. There are a couple of options: 1) Move to Florida and keep the saga going 2) Venture out into the sub-artic temperatures and keep the saga going or 3) Wrap it up. I don't think my wife would approve of the first option since she grew up in Florida and has made it quite clear that she doesn't want to return. The second option...well, that's not off the table. It's highly unlikely, but then again when you're a junkie a lot of things seemed unlikely before you ended up doing them. Option 3 is probably the safest, cheapest, and best bet.

It's been about 8 months since I started this blog and now that the season is wrapping up, I think this is a great time to reflect.

Many, many years ago I played a round of golf with a friend who I will refer to as Douglas Herman. (Nobody reads this blog, and if they do they damn sure don't know who he is.) Anyway, I was first starting out and just had absolutely no clue about what I was doing. But of course, I was still competitive and was trying to score a low round. But rather than use skill, I decided to use a highly effective strategy known as cheating. Doug finally said to me, "If you cheat, how will you know if you're getting any better?"

I never forgave him for that.

It has occurred to me that during this whole masochistic journey, part of the pain and been caused by the idea of a number. That if I reached a certain number that I would somehow be deemed worthy to grace the hallowed grounds of the golf course.

But I have gotten better over the years and over these past few months. I've learned a lot and my confidence level is much higher. I mean, when I really think about how bad I was 10 years ago it kinda makes me cringe. In fact, I was just playing yesterday and I hit some really excellent shots that I wouldn't have even considered years ago. And that is something to be proud of.

So why hasn't my score improved over the past few months? Well, it's because a jerk-faced, weasel-boy told me many years ago that it wasn't "right" to cheat. That by cheating I would be robbing myself of a true victory and the feeling of real accomplishment. So what's really happening is that because I'm not cheating, my recent scores are a more accurate reflection of where I really am.

So, when I inevitably and truly break 95 and 90 and 85, I will be able to confidently, proudly and sincerely tell the Golf Gods to go suck it.