Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Welcome Back, Welcome Back, Welcome Baaacck

"Yeah, we tease him a lot 'cause we got him on the spot
Welcome Back."

THOUSAND OAKS, CA - DECEMBER 04:  Tiger Woods celebrates after his birdie putt on the 18th hole to win the Chevron World Challenge at Sherwood Country Club on December 4, 2011 in Thousand Oaks, California. Woods finished at 10 under par to beat Zach Johnson by one stroke.

This past Sunday, Tiger Woods showed more than a glimpse of his former glory. And regardless of what you think of him on a personal level, it was beautiful to behold. I, for one, couldn't be happier and I will proceed to tell you why in my characterstically irreverent and pithy style.

I don't know if you've noticed, but golf is a really boring sport to watch. Seriously, it's REALLY boring. It's slow, the announcer mumble in very soothing tones, and it takes about six hours between each golf shot where usually...nothing happens. Even the most avid golfer is loathe to actually watch golf.

Unless Tiger Woods is playing. Then it's on! He makes the game interesting. He even makes the game, dare I say, exciting?...Oh, I dare!

Here's the thing, everyone knows that Tiger Woods is an excellent golfer. But to the non-golfers out there, what you don't know is that the way he wins is always somewhat...how shall I say?...unconventional.

What I mean is, he gets himself into a lot of trouble and then uses a series of miracle shots to get himself out of trouble. When Tiger Woods has his "A game" going, he's one part surgeon, one part magician, one part scientist, eight parts golfer, one-quarter part mathmatician...you get the idea. One time, he hit a ball out of a sand trap, about 175 yards, over water, and landed the ball about 7 feet from the hole. Then he healed a man's broken arm by simply touching him**

**Just seeing if you're paying attention.

What you also may not know is that he is highly volatile on the golf course. When he makes a bad shot, it's gets really R-rated really fast. When he sinks a big putt for the lead, he gives the most demonstrative fist pump that always causes the country club crowd to tremble with fear.

Lastly, I will freely admit that it was this exuberance that truly piqued my interest in the game. I always had a odd fascination with golf. Very similar to a scab on your elbow that you just keep picking at it even though you weren't supposed to. But once Tiger Woods hit the scene, it took my interest to a whole new level.

Suddenly, golf could be fun. It was a game where you could flex your muscles and strut your stuff and pump your fist. At the same time, it would push you to your limits and show you what you were really made of. It was the ultimate stage and jam-packed with high drama. (And you know we actors love drama.)

So congratulations Tiger Woods to your first victory in over 2 years. May there be many more to come.