Monday, September 10, 2012

Who Was That Masked Man?

"He's a 44 handicap.  Sometimes he plays like a 40 handicap.  Sometimes he plays like a 4."
-Hank Haney referring to Adam Levine's golf game on The Haney Project

Okay, I get it.  Golf is hard.  And everybody has to go through the same crap.  From the lowly beginner to the seasoned professional, we all share a common bond in our universal frustrations with the golf game.  However, my last round was just so radically different from one shot to the next that it literally drove me insane.  (I have the medication to prove it.)

My last round out it was like I had some incredibly bizarre multiple personality disorder.  I was playing like 10 different golfers each with 10 different swing problems.  And they all seemed to show up sporadically.  (Which is what makes the game so exciting/hellish.)

At first, I had an issue of pulling the ball to the left.  Not quite sure why that was happening but at least it wasn't completely devastating to my score.  I couldn't correct it no matter what I tried, but it wasn't so bad that I walked of the course in disgust and tears.  Which, by the way, has never happened (knock wood).

But then, newer more interesting problems started to creep in.  For some reason, once in a while, I wasn't able to hit short chips shots.  Just another little something out of nowhere.  I'm still not sure how this is even possible, but I managed to slide the club head between the ball and the ground without seeming to actually touch the golf ball.  It's almost like that trick where you have a bunch of glasses sitting on a table and there's a tablecloth between the glasses and the table then someone rips the tablecloth out from between them without moving the glasses.  It's kind of like that.  Magic.

And then there were the times when a wicked slice would pop up.  I was just going along about my day (Tra La La) and then BAM! I hit a crazy shot off to the right.

And finally, as there always is, there were the beautifully struck shots that make me think that I have a chance to be good at this thing.  On the Par 4 18th hole, I took the driver (You heard me) and crushed my tee shot leaving the ball about 25 yards short of the hole.  What followed was a series of ugly shots that I don't want to talk about THE POINT IS the tee shot was incredible.

Final score: 106

Einstein was wrong.  The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the same results but getting wildly radical and contradictory results.

No comments:

Post a Comment