Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Power of G-rated Golf

"Language, please."
-My Mother-in-Law who thinks we are living in the 1950's and that everyone is 12 years old

Don't get me wrong.  I love my Mother-in-Law.  She's a very kind, warm, and considerate person.  But there are certain sensibilities that we simply do not share.  The main one being about the appropriate use of foul language.  My Mother-in-Law feels that no one should ever use foul language in any context ever.  (Even the word crap sends a chill down her spine.)  I, on the other hand, feel that a well placed swear word can be a very effective communication tool.

So you can imagine how she would feel if she were to ever ride along with me on one of my golf outings.  Mainly, because she'd be bored to death.  But also, because of the flurry of f-bombs, s-bombs, mf-bombs, cs-bombs, etc. that would fly unabashedly from my foul mouth.

But then, a few weeks ago, I had a sudden realization.  (An epiphany if you will.)  Sure, cursing the heavens as you make an errant golf shot feels somewhat cathartic at the moment, but was it really serving me?  I really do believe that words have enormous power and that we have to choose them carefully.  And maybe letting out all of my fury and agitation through swear words was simply fueling even more fury and agitation.

So I've decided to dial it back on the harsh, filthy, vile, disgusting, naughty words.  And you know what? It's made a difference.  Again, not so much in the score, (It's about the bigger picture people) but in my state of mind as I'm playing.  As I continue to make mistakes, releasing my frustrations with a non-offensive and non-emotional, "Shoot," or "Nuts," actually increases my chances of recovering from those mistakes successfully.

Plus, I just don't feel so fucking miserable when I'm out there. (Hey, I'm not playing NOW.)

So now, not only do I have the swing of a old man, but I have the etiquette of a 100 year-old woman.


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